Six pillar of self esteem – Do You Know How Worthy You Are?
The feeling of self worth is one of the foundations of a healthy self esteem. When you feel you are worthy, you believe it’s your right to be happy and get the rewards that you deserve for your efforts. How good is your self worth? How can you improve it? Find some answers in this article.
When your self worth is low you can encounter many problems. At the worst level you may simply believe that you are not entitled to the rewards that are on offer and you may walk away from a life-changing opportunity.
More subtly, if you have a flawed sense of self worth, you may be too willing to give in to other people and let them take advantage of you unfairly. Or you may find that you don’t enjoy your achievements and you don’t take pride in them once you’ve achieved them. Or you may feel compelled to continually prove yourself through more achievements again and again. Your life can seem hollow and worthless.
An example of low self worth is a successful businessman who becomes anxious when he’s not working. This person has trouble enjoying himself when he is on vacation with his family. His low self worth may mean that he does not feel entitled to enjoy being with his family. He needs to continually prove his worth by making more money…
Self worth is a positive affirmation of yourself
Sometimes self worth is confused with a number of negative things. Self worth is not a comparative measure – it is not the delusion that we are superior, that we need to out-compete other people.
Self worth is inwardly focussed on ourselves, that our life is worth supporting, that we deserve the respect of others, that our happiness and fulfilment is worth pursuing and that we respect ourselves.
Your treatment as a child by our parents and significant adults is critical to your self respect. You need to see yourself as good and you learn this at a very early age. You are anxious to learn right and wrong and to be treated with respect by your parents.
This continues into adult life. One of the keys to your self respect is satisfaction with the moral choices that you make – are they good or bad. A good test of your self respect is to ask yourself if you feel satisfied and proud with your moral judgements.
The three main points about self respect and self worth are:
If you respect yourself, your behaviour will be congruent with this. For example you will expect other people to deal with you in a way that is appropriate for the circumstances.
If you do not respect yourself, you will act in a way to lower your sense of your worth even further, for example you may let other people take advantage of you.
IF you want to raise your self respect, you have to learn to behave like someone with high self respect. The first step is to affirm your commitment to your own worth which you express through congruent behaviour.
Would you like to learn more about the six pillars of self esteem?
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